Cherry Blossom Love

And just like that, we stumbled, we bravely charged, we dragged our bodies, and ultimately we survived an impossible 5 years. I like to think God innately created us toa) make sense of the things around us and b) find connection as we move through life. Infant loss has made these 2 things nearly impossible….

Man of Sorrow

It has been over a year since I have blogged. I have been continuing to write but anytime I think to write in blog form for the “world” to see, I hold back.  Unlike most people in my circles, I am heavily immersed in grief culture. Books, interactive journals, podcasts, forums etc. My finger has…

The 95 day threshold

Sometimes we say things only because they sound right. I’ve said, “Now that Marigold is here, I couldn’t imagine losing her!” But that is just not true. I can imagine. And I do every day. Tonight I had a bath with Marigold, Nathan put on her jammies and I fed her as we rocked in…

Two World’s

New Years hit me hard. I have been in a fog for a few weeks, unable to make sense of the mess of emotions that go on in my mind. My family got me into a writing class for those dealing with grief. All of my creative juices have been channeled into that course since…

Timshel

Heavenly greeting Only five months ago, on the night of July 28th I went to bed a proud mother of 3. The next morning, I woke up to an impossible reality. I suddenly had more babies in heaven than I do on Earth. Before Aspen was born, I had two miscarriages. It always annoyed me…

Eden’s Memorial

On August 3rd, 2018 we had Eden Alexandria’s Celebration of Life. It was held at Northview Community Church in Abbotsford BC, Canada. It only seemed suitable that I would deliver the eulogy. She was only 3 months after all. No one knew her better. When I walked into that sanctuary that day, everything became real,…