And just like that, we stumbled, we bravely charged, we dragged our bodies, and ultimately we survived an impossible 5 years. I like to think God innately created us toa) make sense of the things around us and b) find connection as we move through life. Infant loss has made these 2 things nearly impossible….
Tag: Death
Man of Sorrow
It has been over a year since I have blogged. I have been continuing to write but anytime I think to write in blog form for the “world” to see, I hold back. Unlike most people in my circles, I am heavily immersed in grief culture. Books, interactive journals, podcasts, forums etc. My finger has…
The 95 day threshold
Sometimes we say things only because they sound right. I’ve said, “Now that Marigold is here, I couldn’t imagine losing her!” But that is just not true. I can imagine. And I do every day. Tonight I had a bath with Marigold, Nathan put on her jammies and I fed her as we rocked in…
Third Day
I haven’t written much since Christmas. The winter, as I anticipated, was harsh. I felt alone, and confused, the nights are long and my patience short. Although fresh fronds, shoots and buds have awoken as the rest of this hemisphere ushers in spring, I find I am still braving the cold. Springtime song-birds sing their…
Evidence of Eden
Shortly after Eden passed, and I was starting to merge my way back into the real world, I recall wishing for some kind of visual indication that I was in mourning. Historically, bereaved men and women would wear a black arm band to signify their recent loss. I think this is brilliant. Whether you like…
Ruin & Restoration
I don’t think the term mixed emotions suits the situation. Conflicting emotions. Combating emotions. Anytime I feel like I have a solid foundation on the matter, the soil begins to sink and I am once again left treading water. Regardless of any conflicting emotion, Nathan and I are joyful and thankful as we announce the…
The Brokenhearted Territory
At some point in our lives we will all experience heart break or loss. Though our losses are different, we are able to recognize them in each other. We may speak from different landscapes of the shattered heart, but we can still aim to bless each other from that shared territory. The brokenhearted territory. How…
Two World’s
New Years hit me hard. I have been in a fog for a few weeks, unable to make sense of the mess of emotions that go on in my mind. My family got me into a writing class for those dealing with grief. All of my creative juices have been channeled into that course since…
So this is Christmas
Yes, the blurry photo is intentional. Everyone warned me that Christmas is difficult. Those who have lost a parent or spouse, experiencing their first ever Christmas without their loved one – always seemed like more of the typical holiday grief. I never had a Christmas with Eden. I never had a lot of things with…
Grief 101
Again I feel as if I cannot take credit for any concepts in this post. (Or the once youthful cliff jumping body I used to have) Although I have had many of these thoughts prior to reading about them, the validation behind them is from the research and experience of another. I was told about…
Eden's Garden 